Many Americans are waiting longer to hit traditional milestones like getting married, having kids, or buying a home.
Gail Rudnick has some grandmotherly advice for these late bloomers: “It doesn’t all have to be perfect” to get started.
The 84-year-old is part of the duo behind “Excuse My Grandma,” a podcast where she and her 30-year-old granddaughter Kim Murstein discuss dating, careers, family and other topics from their own generational perspectives.
On the one hand, Rudnick is glad to see today’s young people wait longer to marry compared to her experience as a member of the Silent Generation.
“When I was young, within three [or] four months — or even less — you got engaged, you got married, you had children. It was what was expected of you,” Rudnick tells CNBC Make It. Now, young adults can prioritize their education and early careers to “do creative and wonderful things” professionally, which Rudnick says she didn’t have the opportunity to do.
But Rudnick says she’s concerned for people putting off serious relationships out of fear: “I think all the things that young people are doing are usually for the best, except they’re a little afraid of commitment. They’re scared of failure.”
Fear of failure is a common feeling across generations, she says. “I just tell all the people that I meet, ‘Don’t worry about it. You fail, you pick yourself up again, and you do it again.'”
Many Gen Zers see marriage as more of a “capstone” experience than a “cornerstone” of their lives, clinical psychologist and relationships expert John Gottman told CNBC Make It in July. Young adults often hope to achieve some milestones on their own or check off certain boxes before feeling ready to settle down.
Rudnick would rather see young people invest in their relationships, even if they don’t all work out long-term, while balancing financial and career ambitions. “You don’t want to sit inside of an office just developing portfolios,” she says, adding that she believes true happiness comes from “togetherness” with others.
Americans are spending less time socializing today than they did 20 years ago, per Bureau of Labor Statistics data. And in the dating realm, half of single people say they’re scaling back on dates because of rising costs.
Rudnick’s idea of “togetherness,” whether that’s with a partner, family or friends, could be the missing ingredient to some people’s happiness and well-being. Researchers say a sense of belonging is essential to a good life, and a lack of social connectedness can contribute to a greater risk of heart disease, stroke and self-harm.
While Rudnick says it’s important for young people to get comfortable with risk and failure, she adds that there’s no cutoff age to keep at it either. She says she’s proof that there’s no deadline for people to do something they feel they missed out on earlier in life.
“At the age of 79, I went to work,” she says of starting a new podcasting career with her granddaughter in 2021. “That gives hope to everybody who, at any stage in their life, wants to really start doing something different. They should do it.”
